Judge Not!

Except At Annual Review Time...

Well, it's that time again.  Got the annual review from my boss.

No pay raise attached to the review, but there never is.  That's the down side for working for The Man.  Either everyone gets one, or no one does.

Fortunately, we do.  Supposed to be a 3% bump that hits in July.  Not a lot of money, but it beats a sharp stick in the eye.

As for the review, it was OK.  I got dinged for a couple of items.  I'm not the most punctual person in the world when I don't need to be, and now that I'm officed with the rest of the crew instead of by myself on a separate floor, it's been "officially noticed" that I come drag-assing in at 10:00 or later.

Look, I see it as a trade-off.  They want me to be able to be anywhere in The Man's far-flung realm for meetings/training/whatever, and I am.  15 minutes early.  1st, 2nd or 3rd shift, every got-damn time.  No exception.

So, on days where I'm doing nothing but shagging phone calls and answering emails?  I could give a damn what time I get in the door, 'cause I don't take a lunch, and don't leave until after 6 pm.

As I said, a trade-off.

It's also been "noticed" that I don't participate in the departmental reindeer games.  I've been avoiding the social whoop-tee-do committee and the community do-gooder committee and the happy fun-fun spirit committee.  Far be it from me to ever make a sexist comment, but if this was a department with 100% men, none of this silly shit would exist, and we could get some work done.

Anyway, got a 4.22 out of possible 5.0.   I can live with it...

Mental Calibration

Attitude Check?  Check!

One of my "other duties as assigned" for The Man is serving on one of the numerous boards & commissions that address issues that arise here in Sweat City.  There's no lack of these boards, and some are more useful than others.  Most of 'em are strictly advisory in nature, which lets them root up trouble without actually being able to levy taxes/fines/etc.

Anyway, I digress...

This particular board meets monthly at one of The Man's facilities designed for the disabled community.  Most of the programs there are aimed at citizens with disabilities, and it's one of the few 100% accessible buildings in the City.

So, I'm sitting there in the parking lot, just killing time before the meeting starts, running the truck's A/C and pumping carbon into the atmosphere, and I'm dreading this meeting.  9 years I've been attending, and as an ex-officio member, I'm there to show the flag.  I don't really participate in the debates, and I don't have a vote.  Mostly I just try to stay alert and field any policy questions.  Some months I get lucky and one of the contracted ASL interpreters is there, the really hot one that looks like a Angelina Jolie/Megan Fox hybrid, but without the inherent skank.  Mmmm.  Those are good months.

I'm fussing with myself about the hot day, the long walk, the two hours in a hard plastic chair, etc. etc, then the door to the facility spews out a crowd.  The 3:00pm class must be over.

It's about a baker's dozen kids with their parents.  Each of the kids is in the 4-6 year old range, and each one's swinging a white cane.  Huh.  Blind kids learning to use the cane. Imagine that...

Next out is an older couple, pushing a thirtyish woman in a wheelchair.  They get to an SUV, then unload this huge engine hoist contraption out of the back to sling the daughter up and out of the chair and into the SUV.  This guy does it like he's done it 8 times a day for the past dozen years.  And perhaps he has...

Heading into the facility is one of the local activists.  His crusade is raising money to provide low-income paras and quads with sufficient catheters.  Just like a junkie can spread disease with a used needle, folks that can't afford new catheters re-use the old ones with insufficient cleaning, and the resulting infections have hospitalized many and killed more than a few.

A bit of a reality check drifted down on me.  I bitch and moan a lot about being obese, and the resulting issues that arise from that, but by & large I've got no problems at all.

Anyway, just a thought.  You may think the world's got it in for you, but I guarantee there's plenty of people lower in the shitpile than you...

In The Doldrums

Bitch Moan Whine Complain

Alas, the dog days of summer have set in early.  It's getting harder to stay motivated about any sort of online presence...

The best I can do most days is some sort of random snark, usually as a reply to someone else's post.  Coming up with some original blog content?  Damn, that's harder than crapping out a prizewinning porcelain pig.

Had me some tremulous dreams lately.  I rarely have driving dreams, and this is the first time I can remember dreaming about a collision.  Clear as day, man.  Driving down I-10, just past the 610-W split, when the panel van in front of me suddenly jogs to the left, leaving me barreling into the rear of a parked dump truck at about 60 mph.  I had enough time to get a foot on the brake, say "Well, shit..." and BOOM!  Woke up in a tangle of blankets.  Freaked me out, it did...

Work is progressing at the usual pace.  Got a call from one of the Nazgul the other day.  It's nice to know you're known as the go-to guy for certain matters, but OTO, it's less of a good thing that you're on their Rolodex.  Never, ever trust a politician!

Sigh.  I need a week off.   Maybe two.   Perhaps I'll pick a tiny town off the map and relocate to a comfy inn with a stack of books & DVDs.  Mayhap a bottle of popskull.

That idea has promise!!

A Rant A Day Keeps The Doctor At Bay

Just Blowing Off Some Steam...

OK, Rant #1:

If you're going to interrupt my day to stop and ask me directions, do both of us a favor and reach across and punch your fucking harridan wife in the face so she shuts up!  Nothing pisses me off more than trying to tell you how to get from Point A to Point B than some clueless bint arguing with me, and basically calling me a liar.  Look, you clueless cow, if you knew how to get there, you'd be there by now.


Rant #2:

The got-damn bikers are now even more insufferable.  Aside from the usual  practice of wearing spandex ass-pirate pants and poofter helmets as they tie up the roadways, they've managed to get an ordinance passed making them virtually untouchable.  That means no more SuperSoakers out the passenger window and honking at them when they drop your evening commute down to 20 mph.  Fuck you, bikers.  Go run on the velodrome, not the city streets.  It's why they built the damn thing.


Rant #3:

You know why you didn't get the job?  It's not because The Man is hating on your particular race.  It's because when you call up, you whine incessantly and order us around like peons, never say thank you, and that chip on your shoulder makes it too hard to fit through the Personnel office door.  Word gets around, and your resume and application just sorta migrates over to the circular file.

It's not because you're (Insert Race Here).  It's because you're an asshole.


Rant #4:

Fuck You, Amazon!!!  You know got-damn good & well that they're not going to release Season Four of 'Justified' on DVD until effin' JANUARY 2014, but you keep teasing me with ads for it.  It's not until you click on the link that you see (in teensy print) "Available for pre-order".  BLOW ME!!!

For There Was No Joy In Gunville...

No News Is Bad News

...Mighty Capitan had struck out.

No new boomsticks to report on.   Both my primary and secondary choices were snapped up by some nasty creature before I could slap down some cash.

I've been told numerous times to just call 'em up and put down a credit card number.  I could, but that's kinda like cheating the system.  Half the fun is the hunt.  You gotta stalk your prey, and every so often they get away.

Not that I'm completely immune to unsportsmanlike conduct.  If I see a sub-$600 Smith 1917 or a sub-$500 Winchester Model 12 in good shape, they'll get a phone call lickety-damn-split.  Some fish I don't mind shooting in a barrel...

Mercurial critter that I am, I'm now intrigued by the Ruger LCR.  I'll be looking for the .357 version, but the .38+P ought to be sufficient.  No lasers, though.  The $300 upcharge for the little red light is absurd...

Is This A Gun Blog? I Forget Sometimes...

Where El Capitan Expresses His Antisocial Hobby

Summer is almost here, and that means it's time to drop a wad of cash on another firearm, whether I need one or not!

As I repeat  ad nauseam, "Need's got nothing to do with it!"  At this point in life, I have the ability and the wherewithal to acquire boomsticks.  I may not later, so make hay while the sun shines!

These are all on sale at the local Gat Shack.  They all intrigue me to one degree or another...

(All pix will embiggenate if ya click on'em!)

First, the pistols:

This is an NAA .22 Magnum Pug.  It's what I went shopping for back in late March when I got sidetracked by the Ruger Bearcat Shopkeeper.

Not much to it.  About 1" of barrel and a smidgen of lockwork around an AA battery-sized cylinder with room for 5 .22 Mag shells.  Still, it hides in a shirt pocket and the flash & bang alone would be impressive.
Around $275.

Got no use for it at all.  Therefore, I must have it.  Unless I choose...

A Smith & Wesson Model 10-5.  The original point & click interface.  Nothing fancy about it.  Fixed sights, .38 SPL, but made with forged parts, a pinned barrel and recessed cylinder.  About 500 bux.
Again, don't need it, but I don't have one.

Then, there's this:

Big Bada-Boom!  I need another Ruger wheelgun like I need another bunghole...  Still, a .44 Magnum bunghole??  Ain't got one of those! About $475.

Stepping up into the realm of investment collecting, this would make a nice companion to the Mauser Broomhandle.

A circa 1915 DWM Parabellum, commonly known as a Luger, in 9mm.  This one would require some saving and layaway, but it's doable, should I live a month or two on ramen and peanut butter sammiches.

It's purely a shooter, with some mismatched grips & mag, and a refinish some years back.  Still, they ain't making any more of 'em, and the price will only go up.  Just under $1000.

Then, there's the rifles!!

Here's an odd bird.  A Madsen bolt action from Denmark, in the manly & effective caliber of .30-06.  One of the last, if not THE last full size bolt-action battle rifles, a few of these got sold to banana republics before everyone crated up their bolties and went the AK/FAL route.

In almost pristine condition, this one runs around $950.  It's a looker, but I've got no clue how they shoot.

Finally, a Rooski Carbinski.  A Mosin Nagant 91/30 retooled to carbine mode.  With that smidgen of barrel and the full size 7.62 x 54R round, the jet of flame out the muzzle will double its length!  A prime candidate for a brush beater/truck gun.  Less than $400.

And there it is, ladles and jellyspoons!  What's on your buying list??

More Mini-Movie Reviews!

We Watch The Crap So You Don't Have To!!

I've been giving the local RedBox a good wringing-out lately.  I'll go for a month or so without seeing any new releases, then spend a holiday weekend going apeshit with the DVD player and end up with a sore butt and a lot of questionably used time...

So, here's the scoop, kiddies!

Parker - Written under the pseudonym of Richard Stark, Donald Westlake's character of professional thief Parker has a couple of dozen novels (most of which I've read) and half a dozen of 'em have been filmed.  Parker has been played by numerous folks over the years.  I'm kind of partial to Lee Marvin's portrayal in 'Point Blank', but Mel Gibson did an OK job in 'Payback'.

This time it's Jason Statham's turn, and while he's got a good grasp of Parker's ethics and drive, it's tough to reconcile his British accent with the Rust Belt thief from the novels.

As far as a heist film goes, it's quite good.  The opening sequence is absolutely believeable, and while the main set-piece heist strains your credulity, the film's got enough action to keep you involved.

The inclusion of Jennifer Lopez is almost completely unnecessary to the plot.  You can just hear some studio exec screaming for a big ticket female lead to push sales.  Blink and you'll miss Nick Nolte, looking like he's about 125 years old.

No Oscar-worthy performances, but a solid entertainer.  Recommended!


Gangster Squad - It's 'L.A. Confidential: The B Team!'  Another cinematic go-round in post-WWII Los Angeles with Mickey Cohen's mobsters and the LAPD.

Josh Brolin leads a perfectly ethnically diverse team of cops after legendary hood Cohen (hammed up by Sean Penn).  Lots of Tommy Guns and fisticuffs, but kinda light on the plot and any sort of credibility.

I will give points for the romantic rematch between Emma Stone & Ryan Gosling.  While she's too cute to be a gangster's moll, Stone is downright adorable, and worth the price of the rental.

There's better films out there, but this one didn't completely suck.


Last Stand - Arnold Schwarzenegger's back, and this time he's old!!

That's the running joke in this cop caper set in deepest darkest Arizona.  Some drug kingpin is trying to blast across the border in a souped-up 'Vette, and it's up to Ah-nuld and his lovable band of misfits to hold the line and keep the world safe for democracy.

It's extremely silly, and even a belt-fed Vickers MG can't really save this one from sinking under its own preposterousness.  I'd skip it...


Stand Up Guys - This one got poor reviews, but I'm inclined to give it two thumbs up.  It's (yet another) gangster film, this time with Al Pacino as an ex-con coming back to the world after 20+ years in the can.  He's met by  former partners Christopher Walken and Alan Arkin for a night of celebration and hijinks.

Alas, there's more going on here than a get-out-of-jail party...

Pacino really goes over the top in this one, but watching him play off of Walken and Arkin is a lot of fun.

I don't want to spoil the plot.  It's worth watching!


Others worth the $1.20 rental:
'Jack Reacher'
'The Hobbit'
'Silver Linings Playbook'
'Django Unchained'